Giving Thanks

Today is Thanksgiving, and I will celebrate it by setting out on my blog's maiden voyage. Some of you may remember my ill-fated first blog, which went down about the same time my mental stability did when I was working at my previous place of employment. Hopefully this blog (and my life "post-previous-place-of-employment") will meet with better fortune. New blog, new beginning.

A few small details have changed since my last post, so I will attempt to bring you up to speed as quickly as possible. I am now unemployed, a state I willingly entered into a few months ago but am hoping to soon move out of. I was going to go into the ministry but decided to move to Indiana instead (Don't ask questions, please; I'm tired of coming up with B.S. answers). As much as I have loved having the option to date anything male with a wallet over the past few years, I am now just dating one walletted young man, and most days I'm pretty happy with that decision. I have gained wisdom from the crazy happenings in my life over the past several months, and more than anything else have just generally learned what an idiot I can be sometimes. Guess everyone has to learn that lesson at some point.

But back to today, a day of Thanksgiving (which will segue into a further introduction to myself). As a general rule, I am a fairly optimistic person. I understand reality, but I can usually look at it in a pleasant light. Every so often, however, I have one of those days when the cynical me rises in my brain and spends the whole day arguing with the happy me, determined to beat it down and make both of us miserable. And this me battle is falling on Thanksgiving, leaving me very much lacking that warm, joyous, holiday feeling of gratitude. It's rather a pathetic situation.

I like my holidays to be perfect, picturesque and snapshot-worthy... but maybe they don't have to be, and maybe that's part of the problem. Maybe a little crankiness is okay to start things off, and maybe the thing that I really need to be thankful for today is the wonderful people who love me and are willing to be my friends/family even during the cranky and cynical battle days. Hmm... I may be on to something here...

A LOT of things are still up in the air in my life right now, and sometimes it's a challenge to give thanks while still not knowing the outcome of the circumstances. This blog is beginning at just such a point in my life, and some days (like today, she admitted guiltily) I do find it challenging to muster up that warm-fuzzy, happy, grateful feeling. But one thing I cannot deny ever-- the people in my life who love me in spite of my pessimist days are certianly worth giving thanks for.

If you are such a friend, I am thinking of you today, with warmth and gratitude...

I think the happy me just won a round!